The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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