Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
