What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
