? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
it was like his penis was on wheels.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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