dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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