we're blogging at a bar
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
