Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
