It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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