fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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