We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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