Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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