i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
