Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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