Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
there's paper in my vomit.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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