yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
