You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
