you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
