Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
my being single is dangerous.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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