Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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