As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
