this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
