i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
