just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
you made out with another girl for some wings
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
