I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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