I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
