I want to stick my p in your. b.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
