i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
