Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
