She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
