did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just threw up on my dentist
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
