Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
