And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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