is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Hippo gnu deer
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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