I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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