Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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