I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
it's not cheating when I paid for it
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
