i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I love you. Go after that dick
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
