Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just gargled with NyQuil
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
