Im at strip club and am horny
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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