What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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