dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
