xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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