Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just want nice things and good sex
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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