yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
