Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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