this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
