Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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