this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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