margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Randomize
