im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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