it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
