Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.

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(904): View more from Florida

I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I just saw the nastiest chick.

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

Where?

(603): View more from New Hampshire

woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you

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(408): View more from California

Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.

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(240): View more from Maryland

I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star

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(815): View more from Illinois

Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.

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